The Holidays!!

I hope everyone is having a wonderful Holiday season...I just can't believe that Christmas & a whole other year gone is less than 2 weeks away!!! They weren't kidding when they said time flies after 25!!! I'm going to teach my Gorda to enjoy every second of her life, especially before 25!!! Anyhow in advance I want family & friends to know your with me in my thoughts this Holiday season & I love everyone dearly!! Please I need everyone to understand I was really anticipating to have my baby home by now, where I would enjoy her first Christmas with her at home & ring in the new year with her in my arms at home with her mommy & daddy, so if I'm not in this joyous holiday spirit this year forgive me!! It's hard to celebrate when your missing your biggest link next to you!! My main priority is being with Gorda everyday, especially during the holidays!! I intend on ringing in the new year at midnight right at her beside, taking her first gift to open first thing in the morning & spending the Christmas eve with her!! I don't know how I will feel as far as attending invites of celebration, but again I thank everyone for understanding in advance if I just can't make it!! Thanksgiving was very hard for me & I don't really want to put myself through it again for the rest of this year's holidays! I know everyone says next year we will have her home, but the fact is if your not her mommy you really can't understand that this year we don't & it was a huge burst of my bubble to accept the reality that she won't be home before the end of this year.  I've listened to this song that says "I lay at night and wonder will you be here by Christmas......this Christmas could be the one that I get to hold you.....this Christmas could be the one...I decorate the tree & hope you'll be here by Christmas...wishing I could touch your face & tell you that I love you...how do I smile & hide the pain I miss you here with me"  a 100x times in the last 2 months just dreaming & hoping Sophia would be home!!! Anyway since I've tried so hard to make this Nicu preemie baby life somewhat normal I did what not many if anyone has done before!! For my beautiful Gorda.....a Christmas photo shoot!!! Thanks to all her primaries that helped us get this done, I know Gorda will love her pictures when she grows up!!! From Sophia to you all, much LOVE, PEACE, & HAPPINESS this Holiday season & FOREVER!!