A Horrible Day!!

I'm sorry I haven't written in a few days, but it was a pretty long weekend....on Friday 11.11.11 Sophia was doing great all day than mommy & daddy arrived to visit at around 9pm & started our "Touch time" with her (Not sure if everyone knows but that's basically when they let us help nurses in changing diaper, cleaning eyes/mouth, taking temperature, etc. nurses normally do touch time every 4 or 6 hours depending on the babies specific needs or doctors orders) anyhow we were doing touch time finished it up and a little before 9.30pm the nurse asked the respitory nurse to please change the "Fixator" on the baby (This is the "sticker like" persay piece that holds her tube for incubation in place).....So long story short they started that procedure & we were in the room it's a simple procedure just changing out the tapings & all of a sudden gorda threw up it was so hard to see that because it was so much & since she is on her back it's like dripping down the sides of her face & some obviously going right back down her throat (they of course attempt to suction as she's vomiting) then some minutes passed & all of a sudden she went from being in the 70"s stats to basically 14 was the last number I saw on the screen before I got out of the room (She was purple & blue & white once more my second time witnessing my baby looking lifeless)  Only this time the numbers had reached what I had never seen before & there were about 6 people rushing in, some nurse on the phone frantically saying we just pulled the tube on Frias, another saying she "Excubated" herself, & well I can't explain how this feels to anyone because until you live it you would never understand, but I can just say that I wouldn't wish this on my worse enemy!! I couldn't breath, I felt like God had just taken my baby from me, I felt so cold, I had the biggest knot in my throat, I could go on & on about how horrible it felt to hear all this from the hallway & not know what in the world "Excubated" meant & not know if they would get to her on time & so forth...!!!! Basically "Excubated" is where the tube that goes down to her lungs to keep her breathing has "come out" or moved from it's proper position therefore she isn't getting that pressure/air for breathing!! In the end the doctor was running through the hall to her room & with the assistance of I'd say 9 nurses including the respitory team they thankfully "Incubated" her again on time.....I'm so grateful to every person who just jumped in to help when they were just walking by & could've kept walking to the kid they are in charge of.....Since the moment was so distraught I don't even remember the faces of those that ran in to help but one face I just can't remember her name she's the one that said "We pulled the tube on Frias"....& of course Brian who was walking by I remember at the moment I was getting out of room with a box in his hand & he basically through the box down & jumped right in...but to all who jumped in a million thanks!!! When they finally let us back my gorda just laid there looking so tired you could see her gasping taking "suspiros" as we call them in spanish..her little lips shaking a bit & once more I stood over her bed with tears in my eyes wishing there was something I could do.......!!! My heart is broken this night for little Sophia is suffering & she doesn't deserve it.....God help me get through this I can't witness another "Episode"!!!! Trying to keep the faith, but the faith is hard to keep!!! ........."Your are my sunshine my only sunshine....please DON'T TAKE MY SUNSHINE AWAY!!!"